This resonated with me. I've been thinking a bit about the Buddhist thoughts on desire being a cause of suffering. To be able to lower the strength and necessity of one's desire can really improve your daily mood and minimize a negative reaction to a perceived problem.
For example, traveling post-Covid has come with increased logistical challenges in the past year+, and it's easy to get frustrated when things don't go my way, or travel plans break in a cascade due to one hiccup that causes a delay. Just reducing my desire for an ideal outcome has really made me feel more at peace with the bumps and delays on the road.
Strong desires are sure to lead to disappointment, and often that mood stops one from enjoying the actual, amazing world. Successful, fulfilling travel (and life in general!) is all about maintaining flexibility, and we have to fight our natural tendency to over optimize. Not letting myself get attached to my optimized plans has really helped me eliminate a lot of stress and frustration.
And I agree wholeheartedly with your thoughts on physical items as well. I often sell things I own on craigslist or eBay to get it out of my inventory, as well as just tossing stuff regularly that I don't use.
I'm curious if you have any unique thoughts on packing for a trip? My mother was wondering why she needed an entire large suitcase for a 3 day trip, while we get by for months with just a backpack. 😂
Thank you for your comment. I should read more about Buddhism. I read two good books on temperance and desire. The first is Enough by Vanguard’s founder Jack Bogle and the second is How you Will Measure your Life by professor Clayton Christensen. As you said, limiting one’s desire increase the happiness level.
My fiancé often talks about “expectation management.” It’s fascinating that by not expecting so much you can increase your satisfaction about anything in life. We are too often frustrated because we expect too much.
My fiancée also talks about expectation management, and it's always really useful to practice keeping them appropriately realistic or a bit lower than initially estimated. Even more so when you are in a lot of new situations, and it's easy to have the "wrong" expectations.
I noticed I would be annoyed staying at a 5 star Hyatt because I would expect everything to work perfectly, but be totally forgiving at a random airbnb where I just quickly accept its minor faults. In most cities, I prefer a spacious Airbnb to a nice hotel just because my expectations are automatically set to a level where some hiccups are expected.
Interestingly, the kindle I got a few years ago was probably one of my best buys, but I can never really get over the feeling that not having a shelf full of the books I read is a pity. Have you read any explanation on that matter?
Thanks for your comment! Few years ago I was reading only physical books for the love of the object and the joy of watching my bookshelves. I even used to travel with half of my suitcase filled with books. Kindle changed my life. What a pleasure to have access to millions of books with one device.
Regarding the bookshelves, I noticed that the first thing I do when I enter a home is to look at what books they have. I believe most people do the same because it’s a great conversation starter. In my next apartment I will have no books but I’m planning on creating an artwork with the name of the books I like. It will be kind of a painting but filled with book names.
I've been sharing the same approach since I was 18 and I have the same general feeling questioning myself quite a bit on the subject of possessions and the mental load related to them. After several years of iterations I arrived at the following model to manage my possessions:
I use a google sheet file "Minimalism" allowing me to have an accounting and manage all my possessions by limiting the number of possibilities with the following columns: Category, Name, color, brands, quantity which gives for example (Tailored, Suit, Blue, De Fursac / Hugo Boss, 2)
I iterated on this and improved it with a system limiting the number and type of brands I can use for example (Only Nike for sportswear - Only Prada for leather goods ..) to reduce as much as possible the decision process and purchase related and get out completely of the impulses related to advertising.
It's an approach that looks quite radical in the end but that I was able to build over time and reduce enormously the load related to possessions. :D Curious to know if you use something similar to benchmark your possessions or another kind of tool ?
Interesting, thanks for sharing! I don't have such a sheet but I also buy clothes from the same brands. I like to reduce the number of non-key decisions in order to avoid decision fatigue. I should try to map all my belongings!
"it's about desiring less"
This resonated with me. I've been thinking a bit about the Buddhist thoughts on desire being a cause of suffering. To be able to lower the strength and necessity of one's desire can really improve your daily mood and minimize a negative reaction to a perceived problem.
For example, traveling post-Covid has come with increased logistical challenges in the past year+, and it's easy to get frustrated when things don't go my way, or travel plans break in a cascade due to one hiccup that causes a delay. Just reducing my desire for an ideal outcome has really made me feel more at peace with the bumps and delays on the road.
Strong desires are sure to lead to disappointment, and often that mood stops one from enjoying the actual, amazing world. Successful, fulfilling travel (and life in general!) is all about maintaining flexibility, and we have to fight our natural tendency to over optimize. Not letting myself get attached to my optimized plans has really helped me eliminate a lot of stress and frustration.
And I agree wholeheartedly with your thoughts on physical items as well. I often sell things I own on craigslist or eBay to get it out of my inventory, as well as just tossing stuff regularly that I don't use.
I'm curious if you have any unique thoughts on packing for a trip? My mother was wondering why she needed an entire large suitcase for a 3 day trip, while we get by for months with just a backpack. 😂
Thank you for your comment. I should read more about Buddhism. I read two good books on temperance and desire. The first is Enough by Vanguard’s founder Jack Bogle and the second is How you Will Measure your Life by professor Clayton Christensen. As you said, limiting one’s desire increase the happiness level.
My fiancé often talks about “expectation management.” It’s fascinating that by not expecting so much you can increase your satisfaction about anything in life. We are too often frustrated because we expect too much.
I packed yesterday to go to Spain. I took my 10 tshirts, sport clothes and I was good to go. Took me 10 minutes to pack and everything fit into a backpack or a small suitcase. Tim Ferris wrote years ago an article on packing https://tim.blog/2007/07/11/how-to-travel-the-world-with-10-pounds-or-less-plus-how-to-negotiate-convertibles-and-luxury-treehouses/
My fiancée also talks about expectation management, and it's always really useful to practice keeping them appropriately realistic or a bit lower than initially estimated. Even more so when you are in a lot of new situations, and it's easy to have the "wrong" expectations.
I noticed I would be annoyed staying at a 5 star Hyatt because I would expect everything to work perfectly, but be totally forgiving at a random airbnb where I just quickly accept its minor faults. In most cities, I prefer a spacious Airbnb to a nice hotel just because my expectations are automatically set to a level where some hiccups are expected.
Interestingly, the kindle I got a few years ago was probably one of my best buys, but I can never really get over the feeling that not having a shelf full of the books I read is a pity. Have you read any explanation on that matter?
Thanks for your comment! Few years ago I was reading only physical books for the love of the object and the joy of watching my bookshelves. I even used to travel with half of my suitcase filled with books. Kindle changed my life. What a pleasure to have access to millions of books with one device.
Regarding the bookshelves, I noticed that the first thing I do when I enter a home is to look at what books they have. I believe most people do the same because it’s a great conversation starter. In my next apartment I will have no books but I’m planning on creating an artwork with the name of the books I like. It will be kind of a painting but filled with book names.
Perhaps books hold a status then, offering an overview of one's mind. The artwork is a cool idea! Mind if I steal it? :)
“Good artists copy, great artists steal!” I will send you a picture of my artwork in September. I will start crafting it in later August.
I've been sharing the same approach since I was 18 and I have the same general feeling questioning myself quite a bit on the subject of possessions and the mental load related to them. After several years of iterations I arrived at the following model to manage my possessions:
I use a google sheet file "Minimalism" allowing me to have an accounting and manage all my possessions by limiting the number of possibilities with the following columns: Category, Name, color, brands, quantity which gives for example (Tailored, Suit, Blue, De Fursac / Hugo Boss, 2)
I iterated on this and improved it with a system limiting the number and type of brands I can use for example (Only Nike for sportswear - Only Prada for leather goods ..) to reduce as much as possible the decision process and purchase related and get out completely of the impulses related to advertising.
It's an approach that looks quite radical in the end but that I was able to build over time and reduce enormously the load related to possessions. :D Curious to know if you use something similar to benchmark your possessions or another kind of tool ?
Interesting, thanks for sharing! I don't have such a sheet but I also buy clothes from the same brands. I like to reduce the number of non-key decisions in order to avoid decision fatigue. I should try to map all my belongings!